Here's to self-confidence.

I haven't felt this happy with myself in a very long time. After months (and I mean months of self-loathing and not thinking that I am good enough for anyone or anything, I've recently kicked myself in the butt and changed my mindset about a lot of different things.

I was blessed with the gift of life. I am a daughter of the Lord; the ultimate king of kings. I often thought so little of myself that I didn't think that I could ask God for anything. In my head, everything that I wanted was something that I didn't deserve; mostly because I thought that I deserves nothing. Not friends, not happiness, not the love & care of others. I'd made so many mistakes recently and I had so many personality flaws that to be happy was something that I didn't feel like a I deserved.

Finding joy is easy. It can be found in the people you surround yourself with, the situations that you're a part of, and especially the love of your family. For a long time, I avoided the joy and focused on my sorrows because that was all that I deserved. "You can't rid the world of sorrow, but you can choose to live in joy." Sorrow is inevitable. Joys are abundant. The way you take in what you're handed is up to you.

That being said, I'm headed in a new direction. I'm changing and trying to grow, but there's only so much that I can control. The only thing that I can control is the way that I see myself. There is no more room for sorrow and self-pity. There is only room for growth and happiness.

Here goes nothing.

-Marissa

Home is where the heart is.

Stupid and cliché, yet delightfully relevant. I went home for the first time since January last weekend. I've been able to see my family multiple times this semester (much more than I did last semester), but there's really nothing that beats going back to your roots for a couple of days. I got to see my precious baby sister dance in her annual dance recital (see photos below), and she blew my mind as usual. Chatting with my mom is always fun, and my little brother constantly makes me laugh. Hanging out with my dad is secretly one of my favorite things to do sometimes though (depending on either of our moods). I'm so blessed to have been raised by two amazing people who want nothing less than the best for me. My parents never fail to lift me up and encourage me to do what's right for ME. Having them around for the past 19 years has been the best thing ever.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

I'm not the biggest fan of the Old Testament for the mere fact that it is what it is: old. Times have changed a lot since the bible was written, and expectations & reality tend to contradict each other sometimes, but I think that this a timeless piece of advice. Love the people who brought you into this world, because you'll never get anyone else like them.

Xoxo,
Marissa