Monday, May 28, 2012

Here's to self-confidence.

I haven't felt this happy with myself in a very long time. After months (and I mean months of self-loathing and not thinking that I am good enough for anyone or anything, I've recently kicked myself in the butt and changed my mindset about a lot of different things.

I was blessed with the gift of life. I am a daughter of the Lord; the ultimate king of kings. I often thought so little of myself that I didn't think that I could ask God for anything. In my head, everything that I wanted was something that I didn't deserve; mostly because I thought that I deserves nothing. Not friends, not happiness, not the love & care of others. I'd made so many mistakes recently and I had so many personality flaws that to be happy was something that I didn't feel like a I deserved.

Finding joy is easy. It can be found in the people you surround yourself with, the situations that you're a part of, and especially the love of your family. For a long time, I avoided the joy and focused on my sorrows because that was all that I deserved. "You can't rid the world of sorrow, but you can choose to live in joy." Sorrow is inevitable. Joys are abundant. The way you take in what you're handed is up to you.

That being said, I'm headed in a new direction. I'm changing and trying to grow, but there's only so much that I can control. The only thing that I can control is the way that I see myself. There is no more room for sorrow and self-pity. There is only room for growth and happiness.

Here goes nothing.

-Marissa

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