I've stalked my friends' Summer Project albums (as well as my own) on Facebook more times than I can count. I've sat around, moped, and thought to myself, "Why can't I be back at project? What is there for me to do back here in San Marcos?". Post-project depression is a very real thing, you guys, and there are 31 college students scattered throughout the country who are living proof of this. But in the midst of my pity party, one thing specifically has always come back to me. Something that I heard countless times from my project friends.
I am not entitled to lead a comfortable life.
Throughout the Bible, I've found many of God's promises for my life:
"You did not choose me, but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you." John 15:16
"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." John 3:17
"But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ, even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5
"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are ALL one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
These are just a few of the Lord's promises for me. I am a chosen child of God; I am to be condemned by no one. I have been made in His image, and he has plans for a prosperous future for me. Nowhere in scripture have I found it to say, "Marissa Alexandra Pena, you are entitled to righteousness. You deserve a nice place to live, a care to drive, a college education, a high-paying job, a husband, a white picket fence, or even the deeds of man." I've often felt entitled to adequacy when it comes to pleasing man. But guess what, guys?
God is the foundation of my faith. He will always take away my feelings of inadequacy, and replace them with feelings that will better help further His Kingdom.
Because I have placed my trust in Jesus Christ, I am safe and secure because I live in the safety of the Kingdom of His grace. I will always fall short of Christ's perfection. I know that now. There is no amount of "doing" that will make me more Christ-like, or draw me nearer to Him. Only when I become the image of God that He has designed me to be will I find my utmost fulfillment.
My identity and what I am entitled to is found through Christ alone. It's not about leading a bible study or a small group. It's not about how often I go to church. It's not about hopping from one ministry to another. It's not about plugging into every opportunity that I can find. I can cross off everything on my Christian to-do list, but if I am not serving the Lord with my whole heart and making disciples and building relationships with people, then my sense of ever deserving anything goes out the window. Thankfully, I live in peace knowing that as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I am promised an eternal life with Him in the Kingdom of Heaven, and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.
"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called to one body; and be thankful." Colossians 3:15
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