I talk a good game.

But I never walk the walk. Yesterday, I went on and on about how God is telling me to slow down and that I really need to take his messages into consideration, but today, I blatantly disregarded everything I told myself. I rushed, and worried, and consumed myself in things that shouldn't be worried about. I was preoccupied by trivial things, and always found something to complain about. So yeah, it's cool that I can understand what's going on in my life, but if I can't initiate some kind of change, what difference does it make?

You're probably wondering why I'm writing this (if you're even reading this at all... and if you are, may God bless your wonderful soul) if all I'm really doing is preaching and repeating. To put things in the simplest terms possible, this blog is going to help me maintain my sanity, and hopefully accompany on my journey to finding some peace and quiet in this constantly moving, rarely silenced world. But to be quite honest, I am too damn stubborn to do any of that right now. Yes, I'm pleased with myself for figuring out (kind of?) what it is that God is trying to teach me right now, but I carry way too much pride to actually implement the changes I need to. This goes back to the whole "slowing it down" thing. It's clear that I need to take a break, but something inside of me can't handle that. The minute that my Friday clears up, I try to overbook myself with plans of helping out wherever I can and seeing everyone that I've been wanting to see, when in reality, I actually just need to lay down, take a nap, and (shocker) maybe actually study something.

I've been given the tools, the rule book, and the intelligence. So why can't I let go of my stubborn demeanor to put into play a few new life changes that'll probably be for the better?

Let me know if you figure it out.