Learning, growing, etc.

Marissa's Special Lesson of the Week is one that I'm having to dig deep for myself. I think it's got to do with this whole knee thing. Up until three days ago, I was used to being independent. Going where I needed to go, when I needed to go there. Being able to speed up my life when necessary. It's like this ailment is God's way of making me physically slow down. Because I have no other choice but to walk slowly and take everything in. And it sucks. I'm not a slow-down-and-take-it in kind of girl. I know where I'm going, and I get there fast. I don't make stops, and I don't take detours, and I definitely don't take the stairs the way I've been having to lately. But right now, I don't really have much of a choice.

The worst part about this for me is that there is no set end date. There's not a day that I can pinpoint in my planner and say, "Yep. That's the day that my knee will work again. That's the day that I'll be able to use the stairs at Alkek. That's the day I'll be able to speed up the pace when necessary. That's the day I'll have to stop begging for rides and assistance." I hate the unknown. I like having plans, and being able to see everything in plain sight.

So I'm learning. Learning about slowing down. Learning that by doing so, eventually I'll be able to see what it is that I need to grow. Because I'm growing. And changing. God, I am changing. This semester specifically (you know, the past six weeks) have been such a whirlwind for me. But I take joy in the fact that I can look at First Semester Marissa and see her flaws, her insecurities, and her never-ending fear of not knowing what was up ahead.

These past few weeks have been nothing short of never-ending blessings and perfect timing by the grace of God. My boss cut my hours significantly. I quit, and got hired at a new job the day that I left. My dislocated my kneecap on Sunday. Had I not left my job in Buda, I'd be having to find someone that would be willing to drive half an hour to get me to work at 6:30 every morning and driving another half hour to pick me up at 9:30. Not fun for anyone. Also, I'd still be working with 1-year-olds who cry and want to be held all day long. Not something that I am currently capable of.

While I could go on forever about how much my life sucks because of my limited mobility, I've decided that that would be a really big waste of time. Don't you worry though. I'll be doing my fair share of complaining. I wouldn't be doing this in typical Marissa fashion if I didn't whine about it... at least a little bit. Instead, I've chosen to accept the obstacles that God's sent my way, and no matter how long it takes, I'm going to learn from them, and grow. Because, really, what other options do we have?

Pray on my friends. There's something in store for all of us.