Collection of my thoughts, ideas, and opinions on relationships and singleness with some spiritual application. Drawn from several sermons, books, and wisdom of the older women who have poured into my life. Enjoy. Xx.
-If you are not happy single, you probably won't be happy married either.
"But the holy spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23
Your spouse is not your savior. Nowhere in the bible does it state that we we will find joy or any other fruits from an earthly being. Our joy comes from the Lord, and is not found in a man or a woman, but rather shared between a man and a woman.
-Focus on becoming the one rather than finding the one.
"I want your to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him, but a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities, and how to please his wife. His interests are divided." 1 Corinthians 7:32-34
The quickest way to find The One is to become The One. Allow Jesus to mold you into the future husband/wife that you are meant to be. When you're single, you have freedom. Instead of checking with your spouse to make sure that it is okay to go and do something, you are given the freedom to go where you want to go without the need of serving them first. When you are single, God is truly number one in your life, and that vision is not blinded by another earthly being.
-God has no trouble putting two people together.
"Those who obey him will not be punished. Those who are wise will find a time and a way to do what is right, for there is a time and a way for everything, even when a person is in trouble." Ecclesiastes 8:6-7
Trust God with the timing of things. There are many good reasons for being where you are in life. You don't know why, but the King certainly does. Trust Him with the timing, and don't settle in the meantime for less than His best for you.
-Who you hang out with (and where you hang out) is a good sign of who you'll end up with.
"For bad company corrupts good character. Think carefully about what is right and stop sinning. For to your shame I say that some of you don't know God at all." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34
You become like the people you hang out with. Chances are that if you become like them, you will end up with them. How do you intend to find a Godly man to lead you in your walk with Christ if you're not hanging around with them? Say what you will, but a great place to meet your future spouse is a place where people that you'd like your future spouse to be like exist (i.e. church, small groups, bible studies, etc.)
-If you are a believer, you should only date believers.
"Don't team up with unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14
Plain and simple, the Lord calls us to be equally yoked in our relationships, and as seen in the previous point, bad company brings about poor morals. Don't go into a relationship thinking that you will change someone. The last thing that you want to do is "flirt to convert". Think about the way you would feel if someone came into your life and tell you that you were doing everything wrong? Being in a relationship is meant to be a time for growth of two individuals, not change.
-Purity is priceless.
"Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people." Ephesians 5:2-3
Sex is fun, or so I've been told, and guess what? It was created by God. Therefore, it was not something that He is trying to keep from you or tease you with, but it is also not something that he gave to us to play around with. Sex is life fire. If you keep it in the fireplace, where it belongs, it is put to use and serves its purpose, but the minute that fire escapes from the fireplace, it will burn down the entire house. Sex is not wrong, as long as it is used in the context of which the Lord created it: in marriage. He is only protecting us from getting burned.
Keeping these things in mind, the struggle of singleness should be put at some slight ease, but never forget that who you are is not defined by your relationship status.
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