Summertime, fireworks, Magnolia St., etc.

-Celebrated my grandmother's 70th birthday, mariachi style!
-Preschool graduation at work :)
-Colbie's little sideswipe :(
-4th of July with these lovely ladies :)
-SaySi! art exhibit in San Antonio.
-Poetic justice
-A street corner called Magnolia
-General happiness/life-living

The past 6 weeks/the upcoming 6 weeks/life after that.

Here's a bit of a life update, if you so choose to read.
I just finished summer school--YAY! And (drum roll please)... I GOT A B IN MY COLLEGE ALGEBRA CLASS! I know. Big feat, right? Well for me, yes. Math is not my thing. But these past few weeks have really helped me reassess my priorities and have allowed me to focus my mind on things that really matter, which leads me to my next point...
This is my last week at my current job. Leaving the day care breaks my heart because I work with such good people and my love for the kids there is ridiculous. But right now, I need a break. I've been running on empty for what seems like forever (when really its only been since about mid-January). So in the fall, it will be back to school, back to school, to prove to dad I'm not a fool, sans the day care job. While I will no longer have to worry about work schedules, biters, dirty diapers, and scrubbing toys to my wit's end, I'll have a little bit more time to focus not only on school but also on my relationship with this guy named Jesus.
I've spent the last few months (up until a few weeks ago) avoiding all things that could steer me in the right direction (sleeping instead of churching, ignoring the bible that I artfully placed next to my bed, etc.) in terms of good decisions. But about 6 weeks ago, I started going to church again regularly, and I got back in the habit of hanging out with the youth at Gruene UMC (all of whom are HUGE BLESSINGS in my life). I was particularly floored when I walked into the building after not having been around for half a semester or so and hearing one of the students cry out "SHE'S BACK!" and processing to jump on me in a way that I can only describe as excitingly, albeit lovingly. Which brought to my mind the thought of "well if this kid has missed me this much, imagine how much God has missed seeing me around to glorify Him?"
And so now I'm off to hang out with our high school youth at camp next week (a first for me, as I've never attended a camp led by a particular denomination) and I'm so excited to get to bind with them and hang out and talk with them about Jesus. My goal for the year is to be more than just some girl who hangs out and plays crazy Steve Smith games with them, and hopefully become someone they can actually talk to and confide in.
That being said, I've got a lot on my plate, and I'm praying constantly!! This summer is proving to be an exciting one with a lot of changes, but I think I like them.
Xoxo,
Marissa

Here's to self-confidence.

I haven't felt this happy with myself in a very long time. After months (and I mean months of self-loathing and not thinking that I am good enough for anyone or anything, I've recently kicked myself in the butt and changed my mindset about a lot of different things.

I was blessed with the gift of life. I am a daughter of the Lord; the ultimate king of kings. I often thought so little of myself that I didn't think that I could ask God for anything. In my head, everything that I wanted was something that I didn't deserve; mostly because I thought that I deserves nothing. Not friends, not happiness, not the love & care of others. I'd made so many mistakes recently and I had so many personality flaws that to be happy was something that I didn't feel like a I deserved.

Finding joy is easy. It can be found in the people you surround yourself with, the situations that you're a part of, and especially the love of your family. For a long time, I avoided the joy and focused on my sorrows because that was all that I deserved. "You can't rid the world of sorrow, but you can choose to live in joy." Sorrow is inevitable. Joys are abundant. The way you take in what you're handed is up to you.

That being said, I'm headed in a new direction. I'm changing and trying to grow, but there's only so much that I can control. The only thing that I can control is the way that I see myself. There is no more room for sorrow and self-pity. There is only room for growth and happiness.

Here goes nothing.

-Marissa

Home is where the heart is.

Stupid and cliché, yet delightfully relevant. I went home for the first time since January last weekend. I've been able to see my family multiple times this semester (much more than I did last semester), but there's really nothing that beats going back to your roots for a couple of days. I got to see my precious baby sister dance in her annual dance recital (see photos below), and she blew my mind as usual. Chatting with my mom is always fun, and my little brother constantly makes me laugh. Hanging out with my dad is secretly one of my favorite things to do sometimes though (depending on either of our moods). I'm so blessed to have been raised by two amazing people who want nothing less than the best for me. My parents never fail to lift me up and encourage me to do what's right for ME. Having them around for the past 19 years has been the best thing ever.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

I'm not the biggest fan of the Old Testament for the mere fact that it is what it is: old. Times have changed a lot since the bible was written, and expectations & reality tend to contradict each other sometimes, but I think that this a timeless piece of advice. Love the people who brought you into this world, because you'll never get anyone else like them.

Xoxo,
Marissa

It's funny how other people's words make me think the most.

Today I read this blog by some really wise lady about opposite sex friendships. Her post was geared specifically towards females, and it was really eye-opening and rather refreshing to read. For once, someone had finally gone out of there way to tell us girls what we don't want to hear, but she really made some valid points, for instance:

• Guys and girls were made opposite sexes for a reason. And it wasn't to just be friendsGod made our hearts different for a reason. Men and women were not created equally. While we were both created with hearts to love unconditionally, we have all really taken out of context what it means to be a good opposite-sex friend.
• As women, we often forget that no man, no matter how good of a friend he is to you, should be the one that you confide in about all of the turbulent places in the world that will inevitably take over your sweet heart and mind.
  In the midst of our late teen/early 20s/young adult years, opposite-sex friendships can be dangerous territory. Emotions, personal pasts, and physical touch can lead us down messy and vicious roads that our hearts may be unprepared for. Take this time in your life to prepare your heart, and do not allow it to be a held a by a man who is not willing to take in all of you. You were created to be loved and cherished; you are a prize, a treasure. But most importantly, a man should seek Him before he seeks you.
• If one of you finds yourself dating someone, do not spend ample time with one another. Don't seek the wrong kind of relationship from your opposite-sex friends.
  Surround yourself with good ladies. Don't get me wrong: MALE FRIENDS ARE FUN AND NICE AND ALL OF THAT GOOD STUFF. But it's so important to protect your heart from someone who could have the wrong intentions. That's the thing about guys and girls. God didn't makes us the same, and that goes for our hearts as well. We want different things, but we're searching for it in the same places. 

I hate to get all preach-y, and by no means do I think I'm an expert on anything. But I think that the words that I read were really cool, and I just wanted to share them with you all, especially my lovely Phi Lamb sisters! 

Our hearts were made with genuine purpose. So please don't let it be taken advantage of.

Too many blessings to count.

Words cannot explain what a huge part of my heart that these girls have.

Recent happenings.

A million and one blessings all in one night. ΣΦΛ Formal 2012 was seriously the most fun that I've had in a long time. I was so busy being sick and tired of being sick and tired that I forgot about all of the amazing people in my life that I can about so much. So, new goal: live more, worry less.

Also, Happy Easter y'all :)

-Marissa