Belated Rise 2012 post.

So let's just start by saying that I am surrounded by some of the most incredible people in the entire world.

 Top photo (L to R): Maggie Heath, Nate Walker, me!

Bottom left photo: Zach Sandefur... and me!

Bottom right photo: Maggie Heath (yet again) and Zeke Mills

If I could explain my love for these people, we'd be here forever.
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 Pteradactyl game with my amazing counselors, co-chair, and cabin girls!

Extra spcial love sent out to: Hannah Pinkston, Casey Braun, and Anna Richards

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See that smile up there? I don't think I've ever had a more genuine smile in my entire life.

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Rise 2012. Woah. What an incredible weekend. I've said that several times before, but really. One of THE best weekends of my entire life. SO many people on fire for Christ, and just plain excited about life in general. It was such an incredible blessing to see so many incoming freshmen/transfer students getting excited about college and learning how to maintain their faith throughout these imperative years of our lives. Students bonded and created friendships with each other and with the staff.

I have never been so in love with a group of people in my life. After praying for our campers all year long, I was more than ready to meet them in person! By the time I got to see them face to face, I was head over heels. In addition to working with THE BEST STAFF IN THE ENTIRE WORLD (!!!), we got the best campers ever. We all know how camp goes. First day is super awkward and no one wants to sing, or talk to each other, or show their real personality. Or maybe that's just me... Regardless, seeing the difference in last year's campers (my group!) and this year's was ridiculous. As a freshman, I never would have been as enthusiastic as they were, but thank You, Jesus, for sending us students who were so excited for You!!!

The weekend was perfect. Everything about it was incredible. I think that both staff and students were spiritually filled. Lifting each other up, praying for each other, and washing each other's feet were all miracles within themselves. I have never felt so loved and cared for, so I can only imagine how our campers must have felt.

I am so excited to be apart of this family, to finally feel like I'm part of something. My heart is seriously so overwhelmed right now that I can't explain it. All I know is that God has a plan for this year, and His light is going to be shining so brightly on campus that people will have no other choice than to follow it!!

For I know that plans that I have for you... Plans to prosper and for a good future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Good things are happening. And they're just beginning.

-Marissa

A few rules.

1. Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you, "you need to stop over thinking", call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. Your mind is the most important tool you have. Question everything.

2. Everything is going to be fine. If you worry about acne, you are going to get a freaking pimple.

3. Root beer SUCKS after eating spicy food.

4. Don't be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn't fear reality.

5. You are ALL original. Every life experience is case-sensitive & unique. Every time you wake up or go to the bathroom or quote someone else, you are becoming more YOU than anyone ever has been.

6. Do pointless things. Don't actively restrain yourself from the redundant.

7. Stop rushing. Just shut up & embrace the sound of silence.

8. Religion shouldn't be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe other than yourself. And while we are on that topic...

9. Don't be confined to one religion. People change every moment of every day. Minds grow and evolve. Religion has no "law", so feel free to mix & match. Do what makes YOU happy.

10. Talking to yourself is healthy. There's really no one else that you have more in common with.

11. It's not half empty or half full. It's half a freaking glass.

12. Every now and then, take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existence.

13. Be happy, but don't force it.

14. You will ALWAYS succeed in trying.

15. We are all crazy. Every person you read about in history books had some sort of "disorder". They just knew how to utilize it.

16. We are all about as similar as we are different.

17. Ideas are just as valuable as people. Why do you think we keep making people?

94. Numbers don't have to go in order.

18. Words will always be just words. "Love" & "hate" are just some four letter words. It's only the feeling that is real.

19. Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what is important.

20. Prove that you're alive. Do anything from dancing in the supermarket to shouting obscenities in the midst of silence. Remind the world that you are here.

21. Don't take anything, even this, too seriously.

Summertime, fireworks, Magnolia St., etc.

-Celebrated my grandmother's 70th birthday, mariachi style!
-Preschool graduation at work :)
-Colbie's little sideswipe :(
-4th of July with these lovely ladies :)
-SaySi! art exhibit in San Antonio.
-Poetic justice
-A street corner called Magnolia
-General happiness/life-living

The past 6 weeks/the upcoming 6 weeks/life after that.

Here's a bit of a life update, if you so choose to read.
I just finished summer school--YAY! And (drum roll please)... I GOT A B IN MY COLLEGE ALGEBRA CLASS! I know. Big feat, right? Well for me, yes. Math is not my thing. But these past few weeks have really helped me reassess my priorities and have allowed me to focus my mind on things that really matter, which leads me to my next point...
This is my last week at my current job. Leaving the day care breaks my heart because I work with such good people and my love for the kids there is ridiculous. But right now, I need a break. I've been running on empty for what seems like forever (when really its only been since about mid-January). So in the fall, it will be back to school, back to school, to prove to dad I'm not a fool, sans the day care job. While I will no longer have to worry about work schedules, biters, dirty diapers, and scrubbing toys to my wit's end, I'll have a little bit more time to focus not only on school but also on my relationship with this guy named Jesus.
I've spent the last few months (up until a few weeks ago) avoiding all things that could steer me in the right direction (sleeping instead of churching, ignoring the bible that I artfully placed next to my bed, etc.) in terms of good decisions. But about 6 weeks ago, I started going to church again regularly, and I got back in the habit of hanging out with the youth at Gruene UMC (all of whom are HUGE BLESSINGS in my life). I was particularly floored when I walked into the building after not having been around for half a semester or so and hearing one of the students cry out "SHE'S BACK!" and processing to jump on me in a way that I can only describe as excitingly, albeit lovingly. Which brought to my mind the thought of "well if this kid has missed me this much, imagine how much God has missed seeing me around to glorify Him?"
And so now I'm off to hang out with our high school youth at camp next week (a first for me, as I've never attended a camp led by a particular denomination) and I'm so excited to get to bind with them and hang out and talk with them about Jesus. My goal for the year is to be more than just some girl who hangs out and plays crazy Steve Smith games with them, and hopefully become someone they can actually talk to and confide in.
That being said, I've got a lot on my plate, and I'm praying constantly!! This summer is proving to be an exciting one with a lot of changes, but I think I like them.
Xoxo,
Marissa

Here's to self-confidence.

I haven't felt this happy with myself in a very long time. After months (and I mean months of self-loathing and not thinking that I am good enough for anyone or anything, I've recently kicked myself in the butt and changed my mindset about a lot of different things.

I was blessed with the gift of life. I am a daughter of the Lord; the ultimate king of kings. I often thought so little of myself that I didn't think that I could ask God for anything. In my head, everything that I wanted was something that I didn't deserve; mostly because I thought that I deserves nothing. Not friends, not happiness, not the love & care of others. I'd made so many mistakes recently and I had so many personality flaws that to be happy was something that I didn't feel like a I deserved.

Finding joy is easy. It can be found in the people you surround yourself with, the situations that you're a part of, and especially the love of your family. For a long time, I avoided the joy and focused on my sorrows because that was all that I deserved. "You can't rid the world of sorrow, but you can choose to live in joy." Sorrow is inevitable. Joys are abundant. The way you take in what you're handed is up to you.

That being said, I'm headed in a new direction. I'm changing and trying to grow, but there's only so much that I can control. The only thing that I can control is the way that I see myself. There is no more room for sorrow and self-pity. There is only room for growth and happiness.

Here goes nothing.

-Marissa

Home is where the heart is.

Stupid and cliché, yet delightfully relevant. I went home for the first time since January last weekend. I've been able to see my family multiple times this semester (much more than I did last semester), but there's really nothing that beats going back to your roots for a couple of days. I got to see my precious baby sister dance in her annual dance recital (see photos below), and she blew my mind as usual. Chatting with my mom is always fun, and my little brother constantly makes me laugh. Hanging out with my dad is secretly one of my favorite things to do sometimes though (depending on either of our moods). I'm so blessed to have been raised by two amazing people who want nothing less than the best for me. My parents never fail to lift me up and encourage me to do what's right for ME. Having them around for the past 19 years has been the best thing ever.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

I'm not the biggest fan of the Old Testament for the mere fact that it is what it is: old. Times have changed a lot since the bible was written, and expectations & reality tend to contradict each other sometimes, but I think that this a timeless piece of advice. Love the people who brought you into this world, because you'll never get anyone else like them.

Xoxo,
Marissa

It's funny how other people's words make me think the most.

Today I read this blog by some really wise lady about opposite sex friendships. Her post was geared specifically towards females, and it was really eye-opening and rather refreshing to read. For once, someone had finally gone out of there way to tell us girls what we don't want to hear, but she really made some valid points, for instance:

• Guys and girls were made opposite sexes for a reason. And it wasn't to just be friendsGod made our hearts different for a reason. Men and women were not created equally. While we were both created with hearts to love unconditionally, we have all really taken out of context what it means to be a good opposite-sex friend.
• As women, we often forget that no man, no matter how good of a friend he is to you, should be the one that you confide in about all of the turbulent places in the world that will inevitably take over your sweet heart and mind.
  In the midst of our late teen/early 20s/young adult years, opposite-sex friendships can be dangerous territory. Emotions, personal pasts, and physical touch can lead us down messy and vicious roads that our hearts may be unprepared for. Take this time in your life to prepare your heart, and do not allow it to be a held a by a man who is not willing to take in all of you. You were created to be loved and cherished; you are a prize, a treasure. But most importantly, a man should seek Him before he seeks you.
• If one of you finds yourself dating someone, do not spend ample time with one another. Don't seek the wrong kind of relationship from your opposite-sex friends.
  Surround yourself with good ladies. Don't get me wrong: MALE FRIENDS ARE FUN AND NICE AND ALL OF THAT GOOD STUFF. But it's so important to protect your heart from someone who could have the wrong intentions. That's the thing about guys and girls. God didn't makes us the same, and that goes for our hearts as well. We want different things, but we're searching for it in the same places. 

I hate to get all preach-y, and by no means do I think I'm an expert on anything. But I think that the words that I read were really cool, and I just wanted to share them with you all, especially my lovely Phi Lamb sisters! 

Our hearts were made with genuine purpose. So please don't let it be taken advantage of.